A Welcome Place for Myself

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This sticky note has been on my bathroom mirror all year. I’ve needed the daily reminder. The language came from my dear friend Erin, a generous advocate for radical self-care and kindness. I value the invitation to not pathologize myself, especially during times of transition and growth. I appreciate the gift of knowing I can be a welcome place for my self.  I am still learning how.

I’ve been struggling all year to see myself clearly, to recognize the new and evolving parts of myself. The discomfort and fuzziness that I am sensing is something like the way a hermit crab outgrows its shell. I am in a process of molting, stretching and growing. Old patterns and ways of thinking no longer fit and the new ways are still emerging,  not fully formed.  On the surface, everything seems like business as usual. But inside I feel raw, tender, and vulnerable. I’m feeling the weight of old limitations and some grief that comes with letting go. There is an awkwardness in the process of shedding, an uncertainty about how to gracefully adapt. There is also relief in the possibility of expansion. I’m craving the spaciousness that comes with new growth.

In the process of transitioning from one shell to another, I can offer the discomfort a compassionate hand. I can ease the anxiety with moments of stillness. I can honor the sorrow by allowing it to release. I can access more space by not constricting my process with criticism, judgment, pathology or self doubt. I am not a problem that needs fixing or solving. I am becoming a welcome place for myself.